To Accessorize or not to accessorize

I'm back to answering one of the questions posted on Facebook:

GC: How to accessorize without spending a fortune. Problem: I've always purchased cheap jewelry because I lose small items frequently. However, I'm tired of cheap jewelry staining my skin & breaking (go figure). I go to bloomies to get nicer pieces, but I don't want to spend $200 on one ring. I need a few key pieces to pull my look together & look polished at work, but don't know where to start. Also- I'd be OK with dropping some money on some key, quality pieces, but how do you know when you're getting a good deal on jewelry?! (She lives in Beverly Hills, works in an office setting by day, student by night, in her 20’s and very fashion conscious – she shops too much)

OK GC, you may not like my response, it's definitely not your typical fashionista's opinion and I know stylists across LA focus on accessories....so to take a risk and go against what most stylist say......I'm not a big accessory girl and here's why.

Being raised with a Persian family, real jewelry was common for everyone to wear. Children received gifts of jewelry instead of toys. I have gold charm and bangle bracelets that were given to me when i was a toddler, they are so small I can't wear them now.  Most gifts consisted of jewelry, that's just how it was. So we never wore fake jewelry. As I grew older and wanted to accessorize, I couldn't get myself to pay more than $20 for fake jewelry. I have the same problem you do, the fake stuff starts to fade, smell like wet metal, or turns your skin green. That can't be good! The only good fake jewelry I have is a multiple strand pearl necklace, this I love and makes my outfits look "smart". 

So that being said, I wear mostly real jewelry. It's worth the investment, they are timeless classic pieces that work year after year. I wear the multiple pearl strand, a few long silver necklaces with charms and mostly scarfs for accessories.

If you really want to invest in some key pieces, I would first decide are you going gold or silver? Invest in one metal first, then the other (that's if you want both). I'm going to guess it's silver. I hope I'm right. I would invest in 2 rings, one for each hand, one big maybe with a stone and the other a bit smaller. One big cuff bracelet, one or two link bracelets, and earrings, simple. Keep in mind, jewelry is very personal, you have to choose what stands out to you. 

If you don't want to lose anything make it a habit to put your jewelry in one place. I have a decorative box where my everyday jewelry goes, I have silver and gold choices (each metal: 2 rings, 1 watch, bracelets, 1 set of earrings, 2 necklaces). When I walk in the door, I take my jewelry off and put it in the box. If I go to the gym, I have one pouch in my purse with a zipper I put the jewelry in and when I come home I empty it into the box. It's a habit that was hard to create, but after losing some jewelry I made sure to make this habit.

So I heard you say this is to wear for work and be polished, so here are some suggestions, again this is my taste, but choose your own:

Michael Kors rings (you don't have to purchase his rings, I just like the big size)

Bangles:

However if you are dying to accessorize I would do a few things. I've said it before, Ebay is awesome. If you can plan out what you want, not be impulsive, you can save tons of money. I would go to the mall, find name brand costume jewelry you like and then try to find it on Ebay.  For example my Michael Kors watch was $300 in stores and $175 on Ebay  plus it's the real thing, no fakes. 

Another place to shop is www.baublebar.com, they have some nice costume jewelry and the prices are reasonable.  

I hope that was helpful......

No sweats!!!

I get asked on a regular basis, where did you get those (shoes, bag, pants, etc) or how did you know to put that with those .... or you're outfit is so cute, you always look so great. I love the compliments, really I do. I am just now realizing that shopping isn't easy for everyone like it is for me. Or putting outfits together is really hard for most of you, what to wear, when to wear it, how to put it all together....and all that! So at the risk of looking like I think I'm all that....I'll be posting on a regular basis what I wore, where I purchased it and for how much. These are my trade secrets, and I really rather not do this...so that's why I am doing it. I've learned contrary action has always been best for me. So here we go.....

My mom and I were going shopping. I wanted to be comfortable and I have to wear decent shoes if I am going to walk a lot. I would never go out in sweats, in my book sweats are for the gym or walking the dogs, that's about it.  So below this is my version of sweats, this is my casual.

From the top down: (1) Scarf - blue/black/grey leopard pattern recently bought on ebay for $3.00. Yes that's right, $3.00 no shipping fee. Ebay is my new obsession. I used to be scared of ebay, but it's the easiest shopping ever!  If you know what you want, go on there and you'll find it for less.  I love scarves, they are my version of jewelery, I wear them as often as possible, they spruce up an outfit. (2) White tank top - you can't see it, I wear tanks underneath a lot of items. I'm not a fan of showing a lot of cleavage so I wear tanks to keep it classy when being casual.  I usually buy them on sale at Jcrew (they always go on sale) but this one I bought for $6.00 about a week ago at Gilly Hicks in Glendale, you can also go online, they are having a huge sale right now. They were going out of business. (3) Jacket - made by "Free People" this is thin sweat-shirt material, oatmeal color, totally casual, but because it has so much detail, zipper that goes sideways like a motorcycle jacket, fancy collar, etc. it looks fancy. I bought it at Nordstrom @ 2 years ago for about $50.00 on sale. This look is very popular now and you can find it almost anywhere. (4) Pants - Army green, "cargo scout chino's" from Jcrew, on sale @ $30.00. I buy them about 1 size to big so they hang on my hips, I don't have much of a butt, so this looks best for me. When these are tight they look yucky on me. (5) Shoes - Jack Purcell slip-on's in blue. I love these! They are comfy and hip. (6) Jewelry, I am not a fan of a lot of jewelry, I would rather have a few expensive key pieces and wear them often. Micheal Kors silver men's watch (the face is bigger then women's watches, I wear the band loose so it's more like a bracelet $175.00. 2 rings one with diamonds and one with a peridot (lime green) stone - both gifts and small diamond earrings - also a gift (as it should be :-).

So if you minus the jewelry the outfit cost $154.00.  There's my version of casual sweats!

"I'm short and chubby (NOT) Help!!!"

Yesterday my “lovefabu” (www.lovefabu.com – go there already!) girls called me and said they want more posts! Geesh, I’ve never been told to blog. “Don’t tell me what to do” was my favorite sentence growing up, or “you’re not the boss of me” that was the other fav. I had a little panic, what do I blog about? I’m usually inspired and then I blog. I had no inspiration. I just see bad choices everywhere I go. That saying “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover” well it’s true, however that’s the first way you are judged until you open your mouth. I was fortunate, I grew up with a father that was clothing designer, a family of Persians who would rather be dead than be caught in sweat pants or mom jeans and how you presented yourself was important.

So I posted on facebook asking if anyone had fashion questions, figuring I would get snarkey silly remarks and I was super surprised! Here’s what they said:

EF: I'm short and chubby.... Help (lives in Studio City, CA, professional woman over 40 – not chubby!)

TM: When do I wear a tie? (Eclectic guy, works in the entertainment industry, lives in Los Angeles, over 40)

PH: I can't seem to get myself out of flip-flops. Wear them everywhere, with everything. Think I need help? (Lives in Florida, professional woman over 40)

GC: How to accessorize without spending a fortune. Problem: I've always purchased cheap jewelry because I lose small items frequently. However, I'm tired of cheap jewelry staining my skin & breaking (go figure). I go to bloomies to get nicer pieces, but I don't want to spend $200 on one ring. I need a few key pieces to pull my look together & look polished at work, but don't know where to start. Also- I'd be OK with dropping some money on some key, quality pieces, but how do you know when you're getting a good deal on jewelry?! (She lives in Beverly Hills, works in an office setting by day, student by night, in her 20’s and very fashion conscious – she shops too much)

SKS: Age appropriate fashion tips. I.e. even though it's Southern California, at what age should a woman no longer bare her legs and go with stockings? What about swimwear- I don't care about the fact you CAN wear a bikini, when does it become inappropriate? Skirt lengths for 45+ and exceptions to the rule. #keepitclassyLosAngeles (she just got engaged! Lives in LA, she’s a mom and a professional woman)

AV: Tops that are longer. More flattering on me. I think? (Over 40, she’s a mom of 4 all under the age of 13, she’s a full time mom, wife and works from home)

AC: 1. Basics for each season - good prices and how to get past being overwhelmed in department stores/malls. 2. "Breaking up with Black" - how to bring color into your wardrobe. 3. Coats, sweaters, stuff that can be versatile and lasting. (Avoiding "paper clothes" that only last a few washes) 4. How to use what is in your closet now am spruce it up with a few pieces. Love. (She’s over 40, works a professional full time job, goes to school at night)

OE: My dilemma is my husband just won't listen to me...he has fashion dilemmas (Professional woman over 35, and fairly new mommy of 2)

SB: Dear Katya, I am a full-grown man. I wear a 38. I love a good cool pair of jeans. However, it seems the majority of cool jeans, let's say... Have a minuscule zipper and groin room cut for a "short draw" like that of a pre-pubescent boy. I need a cool jean for a FULL grown man. Any ideas?? (He’s in the real estate industry in Santa Clarita, CA, married with a young daughter)

FP: Katya, I'm fairly disappointed with the over all reflection of myself in the mirror (Where do I start!)

So today’s blog will answer; EF: I'm short and chubby.... Help (lives in Studio City, CA, professional woman over 40 – not chubby!)

pe·tite

pəˈtēt/

adjective

1.(of a woman) having a small and attractively dainty build.

"she was petite and vivacious"

synonyms: small, dainty, diminutive, slight, little, tiny, elfin, delicate, small-boned; size-zero; wee; informal pint-sized "these dresses are designed for the more petite woman"

First of all you’re not chubby at all, you’re just not crack skinny like when you were 20 (ummm none of us are!).  Now you are not short, you’re petite (everyone under 5’3 is petite)– learn that word P.E.T.I.T.E Petite! Doesn’t that sound classy, dainty, and cute? Much better than “Short”, short sounds harsh, yucky, and unattractive.  Go to the mall, there isn’t one department called the “short” department…. it’s petite. OK so now that we are clear on that.

Second of all, petite is nice. All men are taller than you, pants will never be too long, you can refer to yourself as “tiny”, you fit everywhere you go, your legs will never be crushed when you sit in a plane, I can go on and on.

Thirdly, everyone petite wants to be tall, stop it. Stop it and own your height. 

Here’s how:

Don’t:

• Wear heels over 4” tall.  You will never be tall, so wearing heels that are super high heeled just look silly (unless you’re under 30 – you can’t help but wish you owned a pair of Christian Louboutin’s so you’re wearing copy’s that have heels 6” and higher plus you can’t walk and look funny – you go guuurrrll!)
• Wear capri’s, they cut your leg off where the pants stop, so you shorten your short legs. Either pants, leggings or shorts – no capris.
• Wear big wrap sweaters, big over sized sweaters; you look like you’re drowning in a blanket.
• Wear jackets or sweaters that hit you at the hips – this is a bad cut for you.
• Wear anything over sized; big clothes do not look good on petite women. 

Do:

• Wear flats, a good pair of ballet flats with cigarette pants, JCrew calls them “café Capri pants” but they are not capri’s. (No cheap shoes, never buy cheep shoes, they look cheep) buy leopard, pink, orange, pattern – get fun!
• Wear jackets and sweaters that stop at your natural waist or just below.  Or coats that are ¾ length.
• Wear flat boots with leggings (thick leggings in one size too small – they suck it all in) and a sweater that has wide waste that hits you right at the middle of your but cheek.  Or flat boots with skinny jeans and a jacket/sweater that hits you at your waste.
• Shop in the petite department.  Find a cut and style you like then shop on line for more.
• Wear mini’s!! Yes because you are petite you can still wear a mini without looking like whore! YAY! Especially in winter with leggings, tights, flat boots – too cute!

Here's some visuals for you. Now some of the colors and patterns are probably out of your comfort zone....take a risk sista!

Get unstuck!

Oh My Gosh! Hallelujah and all that good stuff!!! I can finally get back into my blog! It's been so long, where do I start? OK let me catch you up just a little bit. I've been working at Abbyson Living since January 2010, the job has been great, it's full time and I've put my desire to be a stylist on the back burner. I have a few clients I style, but it's just here and there. What I've found is, I love it, I miss it and it's in me, so it has to come out. It's my passion (well one of them).

My friends started an online magazine www.lovefabu.com, I heard about this and it sounded great, my friend is the "dear Abby" and I asked her what were they doing for fashion? I mean, how can you have a woman's magazine without fashion? She said "you'd be great" and then that was it. We dropped it and moved on to talking about her man, my lack of men, her kids, her new job, etc.

So God is funny, if you didn't know that, you have to open up and get to know him. He's not funny mean or funny sarcastic, he's funny, kind and funny love. He's also extremely efficient. He'll see an opportunity to affect multiple people at once and he'll make it happen. I've seen him do it throughout my life. I know I'm being vague, simmer down, I'll explain!

I'm at Dear Abby's house and 2 of the 3 creators of Love Fabu are there, they just finished filming the videos that will be on www.lovefabu.com (hey we're in 2013 darn it!). The video advice was great, to the point, snarkey, funny, just great! The girls got to talking about fashion, asking me questions and wanted to see my blog, they loved it! Then they separately started talking about some challenges they've been having with people and turns out I gave them the exact advise Dear Abby did, it freaked them out. I had to swear on a bible that she didn't prep me for the meeting. So being I gave them the same advise, it was the confirmation they needed. They left the house feeling confirmed in what they needed to do, I left fired up about fashion.....it was a win win.

Just to remind you, I'm not your typical fashionista. Anyone can spend thousands and thousands of dollars on expensive designer duds and look good (almost anyone). But I am your average girl stylist. I'm practical, I'll take you up one level and change how you feel about yourself without bleeding your bank account.

So here is my recent realization. If you are over 35ish (there's no exact number) you are stuck. Unless you work in fashion, marketing, entertainment, music, there is a very good chance you are stuck. You are stuck where you felt your best, in your 20's. You were hot, no care in the world, boys were after you  or visa verse, you were on top of the world, you were thin, you ate crap, you stayed up all night and looked great the next morning..... do you get it? You felt great!

For me it was the 80's. Big ass hair was the thing and I have more hair than any girl in Jersey! So I worked that big hair hardcore. Have you ever heard the statement "the bigger the hair, the closer to God"? Well God and I were tight! As time went on, big hair was becoming a thing of the past, but no matter how much I tried I couldn't have a flat head. I would see girls with flat hair and they looked great, I would go home and try to go flat and would look in the mirror and thought I looked weird. Needless to say, my 80's hair went into the 90's.

So if I do this, you all do this!

I recently went Christmas shopping with a guy friend, he's 37 and here's his fashion statement:  Either it's a suit for a dressed up occasion (wedding, banquet, funeral) and he wears a suit well. Or it's t-shirts, jeans with a lot of leg room, converse and hoodies. We went to H&M and he went straight for the hoodies, asking me if I liked this color? I said "JB why don't you change it up, you own 25 hoodies!" and the look on his face said, well I'd like to but I don't know how to. AH HA! That's just it. You see the fashion changing, but how do you make that transition without looking like a fool or a fraud?? That's where I come in. Just because it's in fashion does not mean it looks good on you, and I will tell you, oh guurl you know I'll tell you (but you have to ask). Well JB is a smart man and he asked for help and it was like a fire was lit under my ass! The Tasmanian devil unleashed all around that store asking him; "would you wear this, what about this, what about this?". I had this look I wanted him to wear but he kept putting the kabosh on it. Until he looked at a mannequin and said "I would wear that". Ummm hellerrrr.....that's what I've been showing you! One thing I'm a wierdo on is size, if you wear clothes too big/too small, it's a pet peeve of mine. So I quickly assessed he needed to go up one shirt size. The T-shirt he was wearing was almost a mid-drift, too short, too small! I know guys want to show their muscles, but not like this, please.  We grabbed a bunch of button up cardigan sweaters with button up shirts to go under them (no t-shirts, no hoodies) ah ha I've achieved victory!  This is a look only Mr. Rogers used to rock, but now it's hip, it elevates your look, you appear more grown up and more put together. It's sharp, sharp is good. Women like sharp.I tried to talk him into some different pants, but he wouldn't have it.


 This is JB the "before photo" and checking out at H&M. PS super affordable.

I didn't take enough photos, forgetting I was going to blog, I pulled some photos to give example of what he bought.

Then we went to Zara. They have some cool clothes and some STUPID ones, so please if you don't know what you're doing, don't go in there alone. Once we were at Zara I found this bad ass coat and talked him into it. Its a step up from a peacoat, but you can still wear it with jeans. I realized as we were in Zara I should blog about this, I asked his permission and asked him if he would humor me and try on different pants with the new tops we got and pose for photos, again he agreed. yippee!! I am sick of seeing guys in huge jeans. They are OUT! big baggy pants are out, trim is in. I found a pair of grey slacks and a pair of grey cotton, kind of like jeans.  And don't you know it, once the pants were on, he liked them and bought them. Check out JB!

 And here he is is after shopping! Hey this is hard work!

The most interesting thing was his attitude a few days later. He was wearing his new duds talking about how he felt about his new look. He wanted to change it up, dress more his age, but didn't know how to go about it. Now that he has his new look, he feels sharp, like he's entered the next phase of his manness. I don't know if I'm expressing it quite like he did. Basically he said what I think, if you dress the part, you might start to feel the part. Clothes aren't everything, duh! If you're an immature jerk, you can look great, then open your mouth and it will cancel out your look immediatly. However, if you dress good, you look good, you might just feel good. 

Here's to feeling good and looking good!